Most old people are quite cute, and horror Movies often appeal to a teenage crowd with young, nubile characters. However sometimes, they twist the familiar into the menacing, and what’s more frightening than finding out that the kind old person across the road is anything but? I list my favorite badass old people in horror movies.
OTIS B DRIFTWOOD (THE DEVILS REJECTS)-
The most sadistic member of the Firefly family, Otis is the angry old man who is ridiculously stubborn but very loyal. Raping, skinning and making sculptures out of his victims, he considers himself somewhat an artist. Just don’t have a paint off with him, it could end in a real art attack.
MARY SHAW (DEAD SILENCE)-
Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. She had no children, only dolls. And if you see her do not scream; Or she’ll rip your tongue out, at the seam. You don’t want to have chitter chatter with this old woman. It may be the last conversation you ever have.
THE TALL MAN (PHANTASM)-
The local giant mortician who likes to turn victims into slaves by transforming them into zombies and harvesting their brains to control his flying shiny Christmas tree ornaments. Scrimm needed no mask or gimmicks to look terrifying, he’s just a creepy, menacing, middle aged tall man who knew how to act in a way to get the kids up to bed early.
GRANDPA SAWYER (THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE)-
He may not actually do much but the years haven’t been kind to old Grandpa Sawyer and there is something very scary and uneasy about him. You wouldn’t want to have to day-sit him, especially with a hammer in his hand. And that noise he makes when sucking blood from fingers, ewww.
MRS GANUSH (DRAG ME TO HELL)-
A desperate old woman in need of some help and begging for aid. Sylvia Ganush has a crazy look in her eye and just so happens to be a voodoo master. Moral of the day: you should always help an old lady out. If a curse soon befalls on you, you only have yourself to blame.
PARKER CRANE (INSIDIOUS)-
The Bride in Black, Parker Crane who liked to kill his victims dressed as The Woman in Black. Mentally abused to dress like a woman, his mother Michelle was probably scarier than he was. Just don’t take his picture. And his name is Marilyn!!!
PAPA JUPITER (THE HILLS HAVE EYES)-
The father of the hill family that hunt people as prey to kill and eat. He doesn’t appear to have any birth defects but Papa Jupiter actually has a parasitic twin under his coat. You don’t want to be invited to one of Papa’s family barbeques.
MRS MASSEY (THE SHINING)-
Mrs Massey is just lonely and wants some company. A crafty old woman just trying to get some, laying naked in bathtubs in twenty-something skin in wait of horny men. I think everyone should stay away from room 237. And don’t go playing in the hallways.
VIOLET DEVEREAUX (THE SKELETON KEY)-
The seemingly sweet but also at times, sour, old lady who acts like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. Violet is really just biding her time until she can hoodoo her magic onto you and take your body and leave you with hers. What is it with old ladies and spells?
JANE KOWSKI (DEVIL)-
Elevators are not the best and no one would ever really want to be stuck inside one. In Devil, proving it’s the quiet, and old, ones you have to watch, old Jane proves she isn’t so plain. If ever stuck in a lift and people just start dying, it’s always the old person.
BATHSHEBA SHERMAN (THE CONJURING)-
The witch that killed herself after sacrificing her baby to the Devil. Bathsheba will soon have any mothers hating their own kids. If she’s not messing around in the garden she and her son are playing games in the house. Hide and seek anyone?